Becoming a single mom and being an entrepreneur transformed my life in ways I never anticipated. Juggling responsibilities and adapting to this new way of life taught me the importance of giving myself grace. Initially, I strived to maintain the same routines and productivity levels I had when I was married, but after beating myself up to get everything done all the time only made me realize it was an impossible standard. Between running my business, caring for my two kids—one with special needs—managing therapies, and everything else in between “mom life” and “girl boss” I had to accept that I couldn’t do everything and that it’s okay.
The shift wasn’t overnight and it wasn’t easy. I was stubborn and swimming against the current for a long time. There were moments of overwhelming stress and self-reflection to understand that setting boundaries with myself and others was crucial for my mental health. I learned to say no more often, stopped trying to be everything for everyone, and cut myself some slack. I didn’t give up and completely throw in the towel. I prioritized what truly mattered and acknowledged that my best was enough, even if my best looked different each day. This doesn’t go without saying that friendships fell off and I’ve had to turn away work that I would’ve done if I had more time. Being a Spiritual Healer & Coach, people always expect me to have my “shit” together all the time and be there for them without taking into account that I myself am human and could be going through things. Even when people became upset with me because I no longer had the capacity to show up like I used to, I gave myself grace.
Practicing more intuitive eating and listening to my body’s needs helped me connect more deeply with my higher self. I stopped adhering to a strict workout schedule and cooking daily, allowing my routines to be flexible based on whether my boys were with me. This adaptability brought an unexpected peace.
Acceptance and surrendering to what is; has been my greatest lesson. It’s a practice that I continue to work on and evolve so it adapts to what is going on in my life. As moms, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. We do so much and are so much for so many people, we deserve to give ourselves grace.
You’re doing an incredible job. You are enough, exactly as you are, and deserving of the same care and kindness you pour into those around you. It’s okay to let the house be less than perfect if it means getting extra sleep. Choosing to go to the gym and opting for takeout on busy days is more than okay if it helps your mental health. Being a “good mom” isn’t defined by killing yourself to achieve getting everything done, some times it’s skipping the laundry an extra day so you can do something that brings you joy instead.
So, laugh at the mess, choose rest over hustle, learn to ask for help and find strength in your vulnerabilities. Amidst the chaos, we’re doing phenomenally. And sometimes, the best act of self-love is simply giving ourselves a break, enjoying the imperfect, and embracing the beautiful ride of motherhood while always giving ourselves grace.